Meghan Markle: The Rebrand That Could Have Been

Disclaimer: This is an opinion piece. If you’re still holding on to your Archetypes Spotify subscription or think Megxit was a masterclass in modern feminism, you might want to sit this one out. The rest of us are going to talk about what Meghan should have done — before, during, and after she left the House of Windsor in flames and a Netflix camera crew.

Let’s Get One Thing Straight: Meghan Could Have Won

There’s a version of this story — somewhere in the multiverse — where Meghan Markle leaves the royal family with dignity, rises above the circus, and becomes a powerhouse for women, equity, and modern leadership. The girl had everything. Brains, beauty, global reach, and the kind of emotional story arc brands would kill for.

Instead, we got a docuseries with more filler than a Real Housewives reunion and a podcast that sounded like a sophomore comms project. What happened? Easy. Meghan got stuck trying to win the narrative, instead of writing a better one.

Before the Exit: Say Less, Move Smarter

The biggest mistake? She didn’t keep her cards close. In the early days, Meghan could have built quiet influence. Lean into the charity work. Keep it Diana-coded — but controlled. Skip the banana messages to sex workers and the Vogue guest editing. Hold back just enough to build mystique. You don’t modernize the monarchy by tweeting it into submission.

Instead, she started planting stories while simultaneously demanding privacy. The problem wasn’t just the family drama. It was the inconsistency. You can’t complain about tabloids while your friends are doing press rounds on your behalf. You can’t cut off your dad while cashing cheques from the in-laws and then leak about both sides of the family like it’s a group chat gone rogue.

If she had stayed silent — strategically silent — she could have had the public eating out of her hands.

The Oprah Interview: Catharsis or Catastrophe?

Look, everyone loves a good exposé. But if you’re going to take down the monarchy, bring receipts. Not vibes. The Oprah interview was polished, dramatic, and memeable. But it was also vague, unverified, and designed for reaction, not resolution.

She didn’t need to name names, but she could’ve brought documentation, hard facts, or at the very least, a credible third-party perspective. Instead, we got Someone Said Something Racist and a dash of Kate Made Me Cry But I’m Over It Now. It was all very... ambiguous main character energy. The worst part? It didn’t age well. Now it just looks like another PR play from a couple who said they wanted peace and then built a personal brand out of war.

After the Exit: The Amal Clooney Route Was Right There

Once they left the Firm, Meghan and Harry had a clean slate. Time to reinvent. Time to go full power couple. Time to build a platform that mattered. So what did Meghan do? She trademarked Archetypes, bought chickens, and launched a podcast that felt like it was being graded by a Harvard TA.

She should have gone full Amal. Private, powerful, professionally respected. Join boards. Fund scholarships. Align with Michelle Obama instead of Instagram aesthetics. She could’ve been a modern-day Eleanor Roosevelt in a messy bun and a sharp blazer.

But instead of becoming a thought leader, she became a content creator. Worse — an inconsistent one. No content strategy. No long-term vision. Just scattered projects, awkward pauses, and the occasional celebrity drop-in.

You know who actually did the rebrand right? Victoria Beckham. Once mocked for being pouty and silent, she’s now a designer, entrepreneur, and pop culture icon with restraint. Meghan had more capital, more momentum, more story — and she wasted it selling California spiritualism in a $14M house with zero ROI.

The Family Drama: Cut It Clean or Don’t Cut It At All

Here’s the part where Tom Bower and the Revenge camp are partly right. Meghan’s approach to her family was messy. Her dad? Problematic. Her half-siblings? Unhinged. But once she decided to go no contact, she should’ve stuck with it and shut the conversation down.

Instead, she tried to profit from the dysfunction. From letter-leaking to sentimental docuseries monologues, she turned trauma into brand equity. And now she wonders why people question her sincerity?

You can’t ghost your family and then narrate the breakup on global television. It’s not healing. It’s content. And unfortunately, the audience saw right through it.

Let’s Talk About Harry: Not a Husband, a Prop

You know what’s almost worse than over-branding yourself? Turning your husband into your brand’s most tragic mascot. Because at this point, Harry doesn’t read like a partner. He reads like a walking, trauma-soaked accessory.

He’s lost everything — family, friends, military titles, public goodwill — and for what? A Spotify deal that fell through? A ghostwritten memoir with more therapy speak than plot? He went from prince to puppy-eyed sidekick in under three years, and Meghan let it happen.

Actually, no. She helped it happen.

She paraded his pain like a Netflix subplot. Made him sit beside her while she rehashed her trauma in podcast episodes that he wasn’t even invited to. Every time he speaks, it’s a footnote to her monologue. Every public appearance? A two-shot where she’s serving main character energy and he’s... blinking nervously in the background like he’s trapped in a lifestyle blog he can’t log out of.

And let’s not forget the memoir. Spare was marketed as Harry’s big moment, his untold truth. But it read like a fever dream wrapped in therapy buzzwords and ghostwritten PR. Meghan let that happen too. Maybe even encouraged it.

It’s not partnership. It’s performance.

Harry needed grounding. Guidance. A new purpose after the royal exit. What he got was a crash course in commodifying pain, and a wife more interested in curating her image than protecting his legacy.

She didn’t protect him. She packaged him.

The Meghan That Could Have Dominated

The tragedy of Meghan Markle isn’t that she left the royal family. It’s that she could’ve redefined what it meant to be royal — and she didn’t.

She could have shown us that women can walk away from toxic institutions and still thrive. That you don’t need tiaras or titles to lead. But instead, she became the face of a brand that stood for... what, exactly? Feminism? Activism? Storytelling? Oprah appearances?

She could’ve built schools. She could’ve launched real campaigns. She could’ve gone into politics. She could’ve been untouchable.

Instead, she’s relaunching a lifestyle blog.

Meghan Didn’t Need the Monarchy. But She Needed a Strategy.

You can leave an institution without turning it into your personality. Meghan could’ve done what every smart woman does after a breakup: go silent, go global, go legendary. But she couldn’t resist the spotlight. And now the brand is burned, the fanbase is fractured, and the legacy is... Spotify-cancelled.

There’s still time to pivot. But she’ll need to ditch the pity PR and start building with purpose. Or we’ll be stuck with more documentaries, more contradictions, and another memoir no one asked for.