Re: One Last Note from Joe
Dear Brewtiful,
I made the mistake of assuming elasticity.
We were discussing religion. Casually. As one does between coffee refills and mild existentialism. I said something radical, like history has context. I might as well have flipped a table.
She said, “You’re wrong.”
Not I disagree.
Not That’s not how I see it.
Just: “You’re wrong.”
It is remarkable how confident some people are about centuries they did not attend.
I sat there staring at my phone thinking, what a luxury. To be this certain. To look at 570 A.D. and declare, definitively, incorrect. As if she personally audited the desert.
Then my inbox refreshed.
Re: One Last Note on Islam from Joe…
From Joe.
And this is where I almost admired the choreography.
Because nothing communicates calm discussion quite like introducing your emotionally unstable boyfriend as a theological consultant.
Joe.
Who cannot regulate a Tuesday.
Joe.
Now moderating scripture.
At this point, I was not angry. I was impressed by the commitment to escalation.
We went from:
Let’s talk about context
to:
Summon the man.
I pictured him cracking his knuckles, Googling surah meaning, preparing to explain ancient Arabic through the lens of vibes.
I was not defending a prophet. I was not drafting a fatwa. I was saying civilizations are complicated and propaganda exists.
But sure.
Let’s assemble a panel.
So I said something annoyingly calm.
That the religion being labeled violent is the same one that instructs me to speak respectfully and honor her scripture.
Which is factually inconvenient.
And then I left.
No seventeen-part rebuttal.
No scripture duel.
No “Actually, Joe…”
Just silence.
Here is the funny part.
I did not leave because she disagreed.
I left because she declared.
There is something deeply unserious about turning nuance into a verdict and then reinforcing it with a cameo.
It was no longer a conversation. It was an audition.
And I do not audition for committees chaired by men who fight about tone.
Sincerely,
Someone Who Accidentally Triggered a Panel Discussion
Dear Someone,
First of all, congratulations.
You have just discovered the difference between disagreement and insecurity.
“You’re wrong” is not curiosity. It is a shield.
And when shields feel thin, they call backup.
Joe was not summoned because you were irrational.
Joe was summoned because you destabilized certainty.
That carries weight, whether anyone admits it or not.
You did not spiral.
You did not attack.
You did not screenshot.
You did not weaponize scripture.
You stated something structurally true and exited.
Meanwhile, a man who cannot manage his own emotional climate attempted to manage seventh-century Arabia.
If that is not dark comedy, nothing is.
Let them keep their panel.
You kept your dignity.
Warmly,
Dear Brewtiful
