Peace and the Accidental Holy War

Dear Brewtiful,

I am not religious.

Let me repeat that for the congregation in the back.

I am not converting. I am not recruiting. I am not handing out pamphlets.

What I am is someone who dislikes watching people hate entire religions they clearly do not understand.

The conversation started harmlessly enough. Power structures. Elites. Western narratives. Somehow, we landed on religion. I made what I thought was a reasonable point: Islam explicitly acknowledges Judaism and Christianity as earlier revelations. Meanwhile, many Jews and Christians openly hate Islam.

My point was not that Islam is perfect.

My point was simple: why hate something you have never actually studied?

Every religion has extremists. Every religion has hypocrites. I have even had a Muslim girl tell me I was “not a real Muslim.” Did I decide Islam itself was evil because of her? No. Because I understand the difference between doctrine and personality disorder.

Apparently, this was too much.

My friend’s heart began pounding out of her chest. I was informed I was wrong. My information was wrong. No explanation provided. Just wrong as a permanent state of being.

Then came the grand finale:

“Peace ✌️.”

The emoji felt less like serenity and more like a velvet rope.

I blocked her.

Now I am wondering whether getting close to people inevitably means discovering their ideological hard stops. Maybe it is easier to keep relationships light and aesthetic. Skincare. Oat milk. Netflix.

Is it naïve to think people should attempt curiosity before hatred?

Or am I the one being dramatic?

Signed,
Blocked & Theologically Exhausted

Dear Blocked & Theologically Exhausted,

Let us establish something important first.

You were not defending a religion.

You were defending intellectual fairness.

Those are not the same thing.

You were essentially saying:
Maybe do not condemn a billion people based on headlines.

Which, frankly, is not radical. It is baseline adulthood.

Now, here is where things went sideways.

The moment religion joins a conversation already involving elites and Western narratives, you have entered the portion of the dinner party where someone quietly considers leaving early.

Some people hear structural critique.

Others hear destabilization.

You were operating from curiosity:
Let’s question why hatred exists.

She may have heard:
This conversation is heading somewhere I do not feel safe going.

That nervous system spike was real.

But here is the friction point.

There is a difference between saying:

“This topic makes me uncomfortable.”

and declaring:

“You are wrong.”

One is a boundary.
The other is a gavel.

You reacted to the gavel.

About Your Larger Frustration

You are correct about one thing.

Every religion contains contradictions, extremists, hypocrites, and gatekeepers. Christianity has them. Judaism has them. Islam has them. Buddhism has them. Human beings remain impressively consistent at ruining things.

Flawed followers do not automatically invalidate an entire philosophical framework.

But here is the adult truth underneath your frustration:

When people hate a religion, they are usually reacting to perceived harm, historical, political, or social. Not theology.

They are not thinking in scripture citations.

They are thinking in fear.

You were asking for nuance.

She was reacting emotionally.

Both responses are human.

Is Distance Safer?

Of course it is.

Surface relationships are delightful. No one audits your worldview. No one interrogates your beliefs. Everyone moisturizes and nods.

But intimacy reveals fault lines.

The goal is not universal agreement.

The goal is tolerance without contempt.

Can two people hold:

“I disagree with you”

without escalating to:

“You are dangerous or stupid”?

If yes, repair exists.

If no, then the peace emoji was simply punctuation on an incompatibility that was always there.

One Last Thing

Curiosity is not extremism.

But curiosity requires discernment. Not every room is built for every conversation. Some people can hold ideological complexity calmly.

Some cannot.

Your task is not to shrink your thinking.

It is to choose your audience wisely.

With perspective and a slightly sharpened quill,

Brewtiful xx